The woman who fought for her rights

As a woman, I’ve heard many a comment against my freedom to live life on my terms. My neighbours would admonish my parents about me doing higher studies because I wouldn’t get a good marriage alliance. My parents have asked me to watch my weight for fear I wouldn’t be attractive to my husband. They’ve brought gifts for my brothers because a girl can use hand-me-downs. Our maid complains about how her husband takes all her salary for his expenses and beats her when she protests. As women, we have been ogled at, eve-teased and had sly comments passed. Some babies are aborted because they are girls.  Society and sometimes even our own family tries controlling our lives and few women fight back. Those who do are condemned by society and labelled as outcasts or characterless. Women have had to fight for their right to vote, right to education, right to marry someone of their choice, right to live their life and so on. 

Chapter 38  of the Book of Genesis describes Judah’s family. Judah married a Canaanite woman who was the daughter of Shua. With her, he had three children – Er, Onan and Shelah. When Er is of marriageable age, Judah gets his son married to a woman named Tamar. However, scripture says that Er was evil in God’s sight and the Lord put him to death. Tamar had become a widow without bearing a child for Er. During that time Israel practised levirate marriage as the Lord asked them  in Deut 25: 5 -6 says,

 “If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead shall not be married outside the family to a stranger; her husband’s brother shall go into her, and take her as his wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her.  And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his brother who is dead, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.”

According to the levirate marriage, Tamar was then married to Judah’s second son Onan so she could bear a child who would continue Er’s lineage.

Deut 21:17 suggests that “he shall acknowledge the first-born, the son of the disliked, by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the first issue of his strength; the right of the first-born is his.” This meant that the firstborn was entitled to double the share. Since Judah had three sons, Er would receive 2 portions of his inheritance while Onan and Shelah would receive one each. So, when Onan married Tamar, he knew that the child wouldn’t be his (c.f. Gen 38:9) and the child if born, would receive two portions of Judah’s wealth, he spilt his semen on the floor to prevent offspring to his dead brother. He was content having sex without wanting to get Tamar pregnant. Onan was not fulfilling his brotherly duties but only satisfying his carnal pleasures. Because of this evil act and intention, God was angry with Onan and put him to death as well. Instead of realising the evil and wicked deeds of his son, Judah blames Tamar for their death and doesn’t give her to his younger son Shelah in marriage, fearing he may die as well. Judah sends Tamar away to her maternal home, with the excuse that Shelah is still young.

So far, we’ve seen a demure Tamar. We have heard nothing from her. She has been the obedient daughter and daughter-in-law doing as the elders have said. The scripture tells us that a long time has passed, and Judah’s wife dies. Shelah must have grown older but is not yet given in marriage to Tamar. Judah and his son have forgotten about Tamar and their duty towards her. 

Sometime after the death of Judah’s wife, he goes ‘up to’ Timnah to visit the men shearing his sheep. This is Tamar’s maternal hometown. The scripture points out that Tamar lived geographically higher but morally was also above Judah. When Tamar is told her father-in-law is visiting her hometown, I believe she must have waited for him to visit her, expecting him to come and take her back to Shelah. But when he didn’t, Tamar took matters into her own hands. She takes off her widow’s clothes, puts on her veil and sits by the roadside where Judah can see her. 

Judah passes by that road and sees Tamar, thinking she is a prostitute, he approaches her for sex. Tamar is now well prepared and she asks him for insurance, for something for her services. Judah offers his goat and keeps his seal along with its cord and his staff as a pledge. Once Tamar has his things, she has sex with him and disappears. Even though Judah sends a goat back through his friend, Tamar is nowhere to be found. 

Three months later, Judah is told about his daughter-in-law’s pregnancy. Judah is irate that Tamar has engaged in prostitution and is no longer chaste, and he orders her to be burned to death, as was the punishment of the time (cf. Deut 22:21). Tamar acts quickly and sends him the pledge and staff that identify him. Realising what has happened, Judah publicly announces Tamar’s innocence. He accepts her righteousness and his guilt by proclaiming that “she is more in the right than I” (Gen 38:26). Judah has now performed the levirate himself and never sleeps with Tamar again. Tamar then gives birth to twin sons – Perez and Zerah.

The story of Tamar teaches us that God cares about women just as much as he does for men. Tamar faced an injustice. The death of her two husbands was not her fault. By keeping Shelah away, Tamar was denied a future. God allowed Tamar to triumph over her situation. Tamar was assertive of her rights and she was also loyal to Judah’s family. Tamar also finds her place in the ancestry of Jesus.

Lessons from Tamar

Tamar could have forced her way and gone to the Council demanding, that she marry Shelah humiliating Judah and his family. Tamar acted with honour and didn’t give up her rights even when those around her forgot their duty. Tamar could have resigned to her injustice and accepted it, thereby causing dishonour to herself and Judah’s family. But Tamar acted with grace, she was willing to take the risk to restore the wrong done to her. We need to be righteous like Tamar, willing to take the risk to stand up for the right while also being forgiving to those who do wrong to us. 

Proofread and edited by Fr Austin Fernandes SDB