We all go through tragedies, at certain point in our lives. Such circumstances require us to hold on to God, so that we may emerge unscathed and strong in our conviction towards our heavenly father being in control.

When tragedy strikes, most of us go through five stages of experiences. The stronger among us experience three or four stages, while the less strong might linger on some stages, and might never come out of it too.

Denial

According to experts, when you have a tragedy in your life, the first reaction is denial- shock or refusal to believe what has just happened. Your doctor tells you that you have a serious sickness, and your first reaction is denial. You are in disbelief. Denial is a very common emotion, and most people move on to the next stage after this initial response.

Anger

Though very common, not everyone will go through anger. When tragedy befalls, people start blaming others for their circumstances. Anger can also cause you to blame God, or the supernatural. Questions such as, “Why did He do this? Why did He kill my husband? Why did He allow this sickness on me? Etc. trouble our minds.

Bargaining

After you have vented out your frustrations and wrath on others, you realize that there is no meaning in lingering on anger forever. We realize that we need to take control, because this is between life and death. However, quite a few people continue in anger till death. They might have been staunch believers in God, and when tragedy struck, they are shattered and lost their balance. They stop believing in God, and leave everything connected to God.

Europe went through such a faith crisis during the 50 years spanning the first and second world wars. Christianity was affected in many ways. Millions of people were killed and many people became destitutes, flanked by sicknesses and poverty, shattering their faith and their belief in God. They started questioning the supernatural power; why do these things happen if God is in control? Anger engulfed them and they started hating everything spiritual and devotional.

Satan worship became rampant during those days, and they indulged in things forbidden by God.

Some would ultimately feel guilty, and would come out of it. They enter into the third level, which is bargaining.

We see people afflicted with sickness running after retreat centres, hoping for a blessing or  miracle. Some even go after witchcraft and black magic. They do not know from where they will get healing, but they bargain with God. “God, if you do this for me, I will serve you all throughout my life.”

They even trust that a miracle is going to happen. But, when there is no healing, miracle and relief, despite the  bargaining, they enter into the fourth stage – depression

Depression

Helpless, hopeless and completely disappointed, depression is a burning hole from which you struggle to escape. A phase where you are not interested in anything; you lose meaning in life. Man’s tendency to continue in depression is very strong. Many don’t want to come out of the negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences. They go chasing after it again and again, and continue in the clutches of

 depression. Those who have support and resilience enter the fifth level- acceptance.

Acceptance

“Yes, this is the plan of God. This has happened, and I cannot go on crying about it. I have to go on with my life.” This realization leads to acceptance. When you accept the situation, and when you surrender in the hands of God, the miracles, healing, and deliverance take place

A person with strong faith can go straight from the first level, to the fifth level i.e., from denial to acceptance. They are spared from the ill effects of anger, bargaining and depression.  

Those who have deep faith and devotion to God mostly go straight to the fifth level. If some tragedy happens, they immediately accept it without any remorse. The belief that they will go to God, and meet their savior, who has promised eternal life to them gives them hope and acceptance

Some even thank God for the pain, and praise God for the suffering.

Colossians 1:17 –He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

To all those going through the five stages of tragedies, Jesus tells us, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.” (John 14:1 )

Many people harbor anger throughout their lives because they do not believe in God.

Let’s listen to this story of a gentleman whose son was affected by cancer. He was not a believer, and the doctor said that only a miracle can save his son. The man brought his son to a retreat centre, and hoped for a miracle. The Lord wanted him to repent about his past, and go for a confession. Even when he was going for confession, the man was not worried about his past mistakes, and was not ready to repent or change his life. He only wanted healing of his son. But, the Lord wanted him to change. He was asked by the priest to make a very good confession as child’s healing was dependent on his conversion. The sickness was an instrument for him to change, but he was not ready to do that. He lost his son in the end, and started hating God. He continued living in denial, and the whole family is still praying for his transformation.

God is using such situations for the goodness of your whole family. Real repentance and surrender comes when we are able to say, “Even if my son is taken away, I believe he is in the safest hands.” I thank God and I’m ready to start a new life whether he is healed or not.” My dear brothers and sisters, are you willing to pray like that?

Today or tomorrow we all have to face tragedies in life. Loss of loved ones, parents, trying circumstances, unexpected tragedy; anything can happen anytime. Sorrow, denial, and anger will follow suit. But, if you really want to come out of it, believe in God, and believe also in Jesus. He is alive.

We do not know where He is in the supernatural realm. All who believe in Him, will live forever. All the departed souls are alive in the presence of God. They have access to you, and your prayers. You can ask for intercession and pray to them. They will intercede for you in front of the Heavenly Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit because they are all alive.

The Lord reminds us again and again not to let our hearts be troubled. No one should continue in sorrow.

2 Corinthians 7: 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

Sometimes we have sorrow because we remember our past and feel repentance. We should repent and go for confession. Some people go on blaming God for the death of loved ones and their suffering. They are not ready to accept or surrender themselves to the God. This is called worldly sorrow. They hate Jesus and continue their life, isolated, ultimately falling into depression.

There are some others who purposely hide behind sorrow. The Lord does not find this joyful. You are missing your beloved one, but they are not missing you. They are in the holiest and safest of places.

Sorrow will lead you to depression, making people indulge in all kinds of sins. This will bring no advantage. This is what the Lord says and the only thing that we have is accept and thank the Lord, whatever the situation. God gave Job manifold of what he lost because he was steadfast and never fell out of faith.

Like Job, let us say, “Lord, thank you for what is happening in my life, even the tragedies, crisis and struggles, I accept it from your hand. You never make mistakes. Your plans will never go wrong. Therefore, Lord, whatever you give even if it is the cross, I totally accept it from your hand.” Total acceptance of God’s will is the beginning of miracles.

1Thessalonians 4 :13- Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.

When death comes, we should have hope because we believe in eternal life and the fact that we all will be together one day with our Lord Jesus Christ.

Transcribed by Jancy James