I am Eve, who was blind to true love and embraced bitter deceit
Author: Priya Malkani 26 Nov 2021
I am the first daughter of God, created in the womb of Eden. My husband gave me the name Eve, as I was to be the mother of all mankind and I make known my testimony of the real love of my Father, that I exchanged for the deceptive “security” offered by the devil. I wish to share my experience on God’s love, those He assigns to love you and to know the difference between those who do and do not love you!
Put yourself in the driver’s seat while going through this testimony, to get an understanding of the lessons one can take away from my experience.
My (detailed) dynamic creation
I was created in a very unique way, in fact it was a bit different from my husband Adam. Before my Father created me, He had already been thinking of me (as a suitable partner) for Adam, and He brought before him all His creatures but none satisfied him. God then carefully thought of a great plan to create a perfect fit, a wonderful creature, to compliment his glorious son, Adam.
My Father loved me, even before I was created (though I realized this all too late). For our creation, He did not use words of command, such as “Let there be light…”, (which came to be), rather He used His very hands, signifying His great effort into creating us!
With regard to me, He went a step further, so I was not directly created from the dust, but He worked “surgically” to create me from a man (of dust). He used the rib of Adam (which is from an area that is close to his heart). I, a woman and a mother, and along with me, all women, are created to be powerful vessels of tender love, nurtured by our Heavenly Father.
In doing so, He literally decreed the following about me and all women: Eve, firstly you are close to my heart, therefore, you will be treated this way by Adam and your children. You are to be a mother, the co-creator of life (with your husband), alongside Me, nurturing this precious gift of exquisite human life, which I especially entrust to you (right from its most tender stage).
When my Father proceeded to create me, He did so without Adam (that is, while he was asleep) – so it was exclusively just Him and me; Father and daughter! Contrary to people thinking, it was Adam who was my first love, it was my own Father, God, the very first being I saw, when I opened my eyes. This was the “man”, shining and smiling at me and I, instantly felt His enigmatic love drawing me to Him, loving and securing me.
While I stood there, not knowing who I was and where I was, who exactly He was (though I was slowly beginning to understand), yet I was not afraid. All I felt was loved, and drawn to His presence; a feeling of safety and belonging, being with Him.
Even though I never witnessed my own creation, I felt so precious. Being intelligently and lovingly designed, from the very rib of His son, Adam, though I did not have a “biological” understanding of this, all the while, I kept feeling I was “heart” material, like there was something dynamic in the engineering and intention behind my creation. This is the truth in regard to all of God’s daughters.
My Father’s plan of love for me unfolds further, through my marriage with Adam
After being created, He did not proceed to speak words of flattery, but beckoned me to come. I followed Him, as He being the Creator, my Father and priest, was proceeding to give me in marriage, to His son Adam.
Any bride to be, would be fearful to marry someone she never met, but the Father planned things so perfectly for me. For the moment I saw Adam, I (who was fashioned from his rib) felt an instant safe, permanent and happy connection with him and now longed to always be close to him.
Suddenly for the first time, I heard Adam speak and spontaneously declare what was similar to nuptial vows (like what you declare in church) as he said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:23.
With that he completed his declaration of his connection with me, stating who I am, and who he is, that is, my spouse.
How lovely, because this so called stranger, confirmed what I felt, when I saw him; a man I have come to instantly feel so closely connected to, it is a feeling of strength and bondship of closeness and I am completely overjoyed with this glorious love that surrounds me from both God and Adam.
Though scripture speaks about my Father, as a glorious King in heaven, where angels keep bowing down and adoring Him, as He is seated upon His throne, one could never know it, for in Eden, He would walk with us in the beautiful garden and converse as a friend with us.
His mastermind plan of love for me (and all mankind)
When you are truly loved: Much later, I realized how, my Father, had long before my creation, planned all these good things for me and He desired, that these silent affirmations should accompany me, when I experienced all this goodness. Indeed my Father, is the greatest, as He knows everything about me, including how to make me feel so loved, happy and greatly secure, in the depths of my heart and soul!
His master engineering on how to create humans such that they can live with each other in love
It is very easy and effortless, to live only for ourselves in this world, but because He intends for us to live in loving harmony together, He created each of us from a part of another.
My soul from His own breath and my flesh from Adam’s rib, in order that we would bond perfectly and my children who originate from the cell of both father and mother.
Likewise, that you may have a comfortable secure feeling with an otherwise complete stranger, He created you as the shoot from your mother, the vine.
His love is silent and full of works
With my Father, I felt like, a fetus who does not understand the speech of its mother, but is all the time being formed in the silent love of the womb, which the baby understands as love. After birth, the baby is given to the care of its mother and it feels a deeper connection and satisfaction with the mother, I felt this way, when I first met my smiling and loving God.
Then the baby is introduced to its father, who will protect and take care of it, (in my case I was not a baby needing a biological father) yet my God, introduced me to Adam, my husband, friend and protector. What a perfect mini Trinitarian love of God, Adam and me!
The moment, I saw everyone I loved and belonged too, I felt like a baby cooing. That is what the crux of love is. No one had to say anything about how much they loved me, I felt it in my inner being and no gift, that feels like a temporary celebration, could compare to the fact that I felt I (and Adam), were the very ones being celebrated, via this covenant.
Stretching the rubber band of liberties, until it snapped me out of Eden!
Scripture records that before I existed, God had already warned Adam of the tree of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil; my loving Father did not impart this warning to me first hand, but I came to know of it through Adam! Adam took it more seriously than me and I took the love of my Father for granted; I showed great interest in the forbidden tree!
Since there was only grace in Eden, even though I knew that if I ate the fruit, I would surely die, I did not understand what death was, I did not understand what fear was, for there was no evil there to be exposed to – only blissful grace. Yet I realized, it was against the heart of my Father, which would sadden Him and would not do any good for me.
You cannot have two masters
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27
“They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.” John 10:5
There is one thing here, when God spoke to us, we were to listen only to His voice, we were only to take instructions from Him, after all it is He who is our Father, our Creator and best friend.
He will not put up with anyone replacing Him, firstly because it is for our safety and happiness that we obey Him and secondly because nobody but He enjoys our company, the most.
With regard to our safety it is completely secured when we trust God implicitly and what follows, is our understanding that only He knows the way we are made and the best way in which we happily function.
It is similar to the fact, that only the manufacturer of a product can issue the perfect manual of operations and maintenance, as they manufactured the product from scratch!
Meeting the serpent
Now it all began with my folly; if I did not trust God, the least I should have done, is gone with my common sense. The serpent was not a glorious creature like those strong, glorious and gracious lions and giraffes that trod the earth.
Yet he was charming because of his tongue, wit, fake friendship, impressive knowledge and his “know-it-all” advisory techniques. This is where the trouble began, for me and for all who gravitate towards what flatters, deceives, stirs gossip of insecure news and finally brings sinful suggestions to get out of that insecurity (which was never there in the first place). This results in your deepest regret, as you hurt other people, besides yourself.
Proverbs 29:5-6: A person who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for him to step into. To an evil person sin is bait in a trap, but a righteous person runs away from it and is glad.
Similarly, there are certain self-serving people, who are harmful for our salvation. They may appear charming and/or influential, but their soul is in a state of disgrace and even when we see, that some of the fruit of their works are extremely disturbing, we are lured by their glory, glamour or at times (even) their deceptive meekness.
Satan was not concerned that I eat the fruit (for the sake of the fruit), but that it should hurt God, besides him also achieving two targets. One was that I distrust my Father and the other was that I physically manifest this by sin, so that he is the ultimate gainer.
To get this plan to work, I had to physically manifest my sin by committing the act of eating the fruit. Because, if by just listening to the devil, I silently doubted God’s intention but did not eat the fruit and since God is perfect and just, there would be no sin in Eden – but just a heart to heart correction from my all knowing Father with me. So, to ensure I manifest distrust, disobedience and a desire to be God’s equal (the same sin of Lucifer), he used all in his power to make me fall.
Was it not bad enough that he was near the specific tree of the forbidden fruit and his comparatively repulsive appearance, being the weakest of many creatures, would have made any one feel a bit wary?
Yet, before I changed my mind and left, he hit me with a question that attacked my confidence:
Did God really say, `You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?
One would actually first think how does this stranger know me and especially know what God instructed us? With his outright question (that was disturbing and distracting), I did not think of questioning who he was, but there he was, already changing my mind to question who God was!
I should have used my head to realize, that this very statement shows, he was wrong in his understanding (or he pretended to be) and I should have doubted him, but instead, I explained all God said about that specific tree, to which he answered:
“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
After his first erroneous statement, I still believed his second statement, which was more ridiculous, that the fruit would make me like God!
Why I was lured: Misunderstandings and news of insecurity that helped me become greedy:
- It was flattering that he seemed to know me and what God had instructed and I felt as if he was wise and knowledgeable. Yes he lacked integrity but with his fake and bold confidence, I believed he was smart and knowledgeable.
It often happens, with bad but influential company or false preachers, who pretend to ask questions about our faith (when they already know the answer), only for us to innocently speak with our limited knowledge. Thereafter they use bold but false statements to frighten us, trap and drag us from the faith or the good relations we have.
“My people are being destroyed because they don’t know me (from lack of knowledge). Since you priests refuse to know me, I refuse to recognize you as my priests. Since you have forgotten the laws of your God, I will forget to bless your children.” – Hosea 4:6
- Since I had not bothered to know more about my God, it was easy to lose my faith in Him. What shook me, was the feeling of being cheated and hurt; the bad news he sowed in my heart about my Father. Though I was loved by God, he got me to believe God is firstly a liar, that the fruit would empower me and God wanted to hide this truth from me with a lie – that I would die?!!
Always be wary of rumours and gossip, find out facts and do not get swooned by negative feelings.
- Finally, it was the sinful inclination in me which over took me after hearing this insecure news, that convinced me to believe his statement was true.
Now, unwilling to pause and think things out or check with Adam, but sold on this lie, I decided I would first eat the fruit and make sure Adam also ate it, so that he would no longer be fooled!
If I had sought grace like Daniel did
Here is what I wish to advice my children.
If I had waited, stepped back, used the wisdom of the Holy Ghost and my intellect, it would have been my shield and I could have been my advocate, to avoid participating in my own death. Just as Daniel, stirred by the wisdom of the Spirit patiently stopped to think and then got the whole Israel to see the facts straight, saving Susanna, so I could have and saved myself. Daniel 13:45-48.
I could have allowed grace to help me think rationally, in the following manner:
- He was of the animal world and I am a human with a soul, how can I take instructions from this creature? In today’s world, when it comes to matters of the heart, this equates to being wise as to take instructions from someone of the faith, than secular advice!
- How come his words are so full of knowledge, but yet with errors?
- Why does he look so creepy (compared to the other creatures) and why is he hovering around the tree that can lead me to death?
- To converse with a creature (which creates a feeling in me that he is spiritually repulsive) is bad, but to believe him – and the message that God is repulsive, is truly foolish!
- If he knows so well about the fruit, obviously he ate it! So why does he not then look like a God?
- He boasts about the fruit giving me power, but he looks powerless!
- He promises I will become like God, but if he ate it by now, he would be like God creating his own world.
- If he was like God, why would he be here in God’s world and not living like a king in his own world?
- He is full of talk about what I could attain from the fruit, yet he has nothing to offer me from his side!
Instead, this is what I should have said (as Jesus did): …, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’” Matthew 4:10
Dangerous crafty enemies: Beware some crafty enemies, will not directly convince us to move away from someone good, but will cunningly sow seeds to get our own minds to do the thinking and confirming, so that we take strong and wrong action. Many times all of this starts with building hurt feelings of rejection. Better to think, even with the help of a good person, instead of strongly relying on emotions and wrong influence, and save yourself a lot of grief.
Why did the serpent do this? – He was desperate for Eve to help him become the king!
Isaiah 14:13-16 “You said in your heart, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.”
Satan had longed to equate himself to God. Because of this evil intention, he lost his glory and was disgraced. By deceiving me, he would succeed in:
- Ruler: Becoming the ruler of the earth – because when I (mother of all mankind), listened to him and overthrew God’s law, I came under his ruling.
- More subjects: While God may have created us, satan wanted to rule over more beings as king, so he stole us through my downfall. He knew he could increase his kingship, to rule over us besides all the demons and bring hell upon the earth.
- Misery: Misery likes company, so being in a state of miserable disgrace, he longed for all of us to wear the garments of disgrace.
- Overthrowing God’s loving rule: If satan could not get back his glory, he wanted to pull God into misery, by being a corrupt ruler and bringing sin and pain into the world, which hurts God and seems to be defeating His work of creation.
- Crazy ambition: He was the prince of angels in heaven, so he yearns to be more than a price; a king!
As I fell into the same sin of desiring superiority, its inclination affects my lineage of descendants. Let us not allow ourselves to fall the way I did. It happens when some young and wounded adults feel tempted to show themselves as greater than their parents or spouses who wish to rule the other.
What happens upon listening to bad influence:
Self repulsive in spirit and flesh: Acting on the devil’s advice, meant imitating his repulsive evil intentions, so I ended up looking repulsive to myself and the onlooker, just like satan did. Because the shame of my nakedness, did not start with my looks but with shameful sinful intentions. Before its effects even hurt (on the outside), the feeling of committing a shameful act makes you feel repulsive of yourself.
Just as Lucifer was disgraced and looked pathetic, I felt a similar feeling (but to a lesser extent).
It is funny how, the new ruler was also waiting for me, Adam and you, to experience the same disgraceful feeling, he had been suffering with, for so very long.
Unable to face my dear friend and regretting His loss
And now, of all beings, I hid myself from, was, the most glorious of all – God, who was pristine in His glory, as always. In losing my glory, I could not look at Him anymore, especially the way I did before.
How strange, that of all the people I had to feel most uncomfortable to be with, it was my own loving Father. As that original bond got weaker, my sin forced me to come under a sinful unnatural bondship of slavery with the new ruler, the devil (until Jesus broke this).
Banished from home and loss of self identity
It seemed best we had to depart from Eden because as sinners, we could no longer fit in a land of perfect grace with the perfect Father. It also meant that Adam and I lost our strong understanding of our identity (since we were no longer close to God), as it is He who gave us this identity, in relation to Himself.
Losing the better life to a hard one
We were banished from an easier life and had to toil it out, because our new ruler was a torture master.
Harmony would end and sin, murder (in my own family) and strife, would set into the world, under the ruler-ship of the devil.
Lesson in understanding what is true love and not falling into a trap of deceit
Flattery is not from God, though affirmation is! Greed is not from God, but satisfaction is. Now when someone (like in my case the serpent), uses words to:
- Make you doubt what is good – leaving you insecure.
- Gives you a bad solution to a problem.
- Promises to lead you to more (greed), though you are satisfied at heart’s level with what you have and this would mean hurting someone.
However when someone truly loves you, what you will experience is:
- Affirmations at times but not flattery. Flattery shows you how great you are, but when someone truly loves you, they do not care of your performance feat or greatness.
- Regular contact with you (just like how God would visit us daily)
- Concern and a gentle protectiveness over you. You will often be on their thoughts (not obsessively but out of care to make sure you are not suffering) and they will feel a desire to ensure to some extent, that you are safe.
This is why my Father warned Adam, about eating the fruit.
- Doing much good for you (depending on the relationship), it is a desire that comes from their heart and is independent of whether you do the same. My Father, never asked anything of us but gave us all good.
- The greatest thing of all is, in their presence you will feel rest, peace, accepted, comfortable and even special for some, (without doing anything or being anyone great). You will feel positive and not drained and there is a friendship.
This is how I felt with my Father and a similar but lesser way about Adam.
Note: This does not mean there will not be moments of challenges but it is negligible and any sadness will quickly recede, with the atmosphere swiftly going back to a peaceable one.
Such relations are a few in life, but they are our lights and refreshment God has given. Most of the time, the category includes one or some of the following: our parent(s), a loving spiritual leader (priest/nun), teacher, good friend, mentor, spouse.
From the experience of my fall, as a daughter and the mother of all, I have learnt, “Earnestly pursue love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts..” ( 1 Corinthians 14:1) to “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33)
Further scriptural reading about the fall of Lucifer:
Voice in the Wilderness
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